
Like most newlyweds, we were dreaming of happily-ever-after. Yet, we knew the odds were against us. The year we married, the word on the street was that over half of all marriages dissolve. The reality then, and now, is a little more nuanced. According to a report published in 2021 by the United States Census Bureau, 43% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce1. While there are many reasons for relationship failure, it has been reported that couples who purposely engage in shared, novel experiences and activities find greater relationship satisfaction and tend to transcend the obstacles that lead many to divorce2.
Although it varies slightly from year to year, the earth makes one revolution around the sun in 365.2425 days. This represents over 365 opportunities for two people to discover more about each other. Each new day is an opportunity to love, explore, grow, find shared interests and dreams, and to learn how to move the other yet another day closer to his or her highest personal potential. The day-to-day unfoldment of shared experience can be rewarding, and it can also be a challenge: as there are also over 365 opportunities for two people to argue, close down, become withdrawn, build grudges, and lose hope in their shared commitment.
The delicate process of remaining individuals, each expressing authentic attitudes and beliefs, while also developing a sense of shared responsibility, can leave both partners feeling overwhelmed and unheard. For many, the first year of marriage can be simultaneously the best and the worst year of their lives. Together, the two partners have experienced the cycle of the four seasons, birthdays, holidays, and a myriad of changes and challenges. The First Anniversary marks a grand accomplishment: it represents the beginning of a lifetime of cycles, changes, and challenges, and it deserves a grand celebration.
We personally spend a lot of time and energy planning for, and radically celebrating, each Anniversary. We believe that the most effective way to create lasting, positive experiences is to root every celebration in tradition and ritual. We accomplish this through the use of Anniversary Symbols, allowing for the symbols to serve as guides to reveal the magic of the moment. This is not about gift giving. It’s about using the symbols as a guide to plan and craft unique experiences for the Anniversary celebration. An example of how this idea can be applied can be found here.
To integrate these symbols into an Anniversary Celebration, it helps to first spend some time considering what the symbols could represent. There is of course no one right answer. They are symbols, and their meanings are fluid. Many may have special meanings based on a couple’s past shared experiences. Many may have meanings based on traditional beliefs, which also vary.
To illustrate, consider the First Anniversary Symbols. At first blush, they may appear too simplistic when compared to the achievement of traversing the first year of commitment. Yet, they are surprisingly and perfectly symbolic of this stage in the relationship. The symbols for the First Anniversary are: Paper (element), Carnations (flower), and Peridot (stone).

Let’s first consider the Element, Paper. Paper is a thin sheet of material produced by using water or other solutions to break apart individual fibers, which may be derived from a wide variety of sources, such as cotton, wood pulp, grasses, and yes, even elephant dung! These fibers are then drained over a fine mesh screen, leaving the fibers evenly distributed on the surface of the screen. The fibers are dried and pressed into a sheet or formed into an artistic presentation. Once dried, the meshing of these fibers creates a very strong bond. This represents the meshing of two individual’s strengths and desires to produce a bond that serves both partners as a source of combined strength. Like a newly formed relationship, paper is uncommonly versatile, and its blank, newly pressed state, awaits a form: the writing of a common story. Traditionally considered as a medium to preserve knowledge and memories (photos, journals, books, etc), paper offers itself as a means to record the relationship story as it unfolds.
Next, we will consider the Flower. The First Anniversary flower is Carnation (dianthus). The name Dianthus is derived from the Greek Dios (God) and Anthos (Flower). It is said that the Greeks referred to Pink Carnations (now commonly referred to as “old fashioned pinks,” or “cottage pinks,” or simply as “pinks”) as “The Divine Flower.” During the Middle Ages, the Pink Carnation symbolized Divine love and signified that a lady was engaged or newly married. Flowers have been used in celebrations for millennia in various cultures and have come to represent psychological states. In the US and UK, for example, Red Carnations are symbols of love and deep admiration, while White Carnations represent purity. In France, Yellow Carnations symbolize new beginnings and optimism. The First Anniversary couple can choose any Carnation color that represents their unique relationship and style.
Finally, we will explore The First Anniversary stone, Peridot. In spiritual practices, Peridot is often associated with promoting love, compassion, and emotional balance. Peridot is a durable, green-colored gemstone. While it can range slightly in hue from yellow-green and olive-green to even brownish-green, Peridot is one of the few gemstones that occur in (essentially) only one color. The absence of color variation symbolizes a focused commitment, while the color green symbolizes the green of a new or budding relationship. Uniquely, Peridot is one of only two gemstones (diamond is the other) that forms in the dense rock of the Earth’s mantle instead of the Earth’s crust like all other gems. It is brought to the surface by the molten rock of volcanoes. This property reminds us that a strong relationship comes through the fires and the depths, representing time, commitment, and communication of partners over the long term. The rarity, purity, and strength of the relationship is forged in the pressures of the paradox of relationship: the two who are one; the one who are two.
Peridot is a prophesy of the years to come and a foreshadowing of the beauty and rarity of the Sixtieth Anniversary Diamond Jubilee. The Diamond is achieved only through an unrelenting commitment to a shared journey, to the highest potential of the other, and to the continual purification of one’s self—of one’s motives and desires in the presence of relationship. For every year, treat each day, all 365.2425, as a step toward each other, toward compassion, toward revealing the flower, the gem, and the story that is your relationship.
Sources:
1. Mayol-García, Yerís, et al. “Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2016.” Census.gov | U.S. Census Bureau, Apr. 2021, www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2021. Accessed 1 Jan. 2025.
2. Reissman, Charlotte, et al. “Shared Activities and Marital Satisfaction: Causal Direction and Self-Expansion versus Boredom.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, vol. 10, no. 2, 1993, pp. 243–54. psyh, 1993-37292-001. First Author & Affiliation: Reissman, Charlotte, EBSCOhost, https://doi.org/10.1177/026540759301000205.