Image: Kim Kutcher; Text: JnK Davis
Welcome! Our names are James and Kara. Some people also know us as “JnK.” We created this site to share our relationship, what we’ve learned about partnerships from our journey together, and to share tools and ideas couples and families can use and adapt to enrich their own journey.
We believe that if a person values something, whether a car or a home or a relationship, he or she should be willing to take good care of it — to maintain it. Of course we should be careful comparing a relationship to owning a home or a car, but like a home or a car, a relationship can be a source of stability, protection, warmth, creativity, and even mobility (at least in the sense of personal development or success). Without care, however, things fall apart.
From the beginning of our journey, we’ve asked ourselves two questions. What can we do to care for our relationship? And, if we care well for it, how far can it take us — as a couple and as individuals? What we’ve found is that a relationship, unlike a car or a house, isn’t something that we have as much as it’s something that we do. In other words, relationship is a practice.
We have come a long way since we asked ourselves those two questions. Our commitment to understand relationships (and therefore to better understand each other) has been rewarding. For example, attending college together, we have both earned a degree in Psychology and Women’s and Gender Studies. We have both also earned graduate degrees. In turn, the academic process and coursework has better equipped us to consider and respond to the challenges experienced by today’s couples.
This site chronicles (not necessarily in order) some of the highlights from our own practice, illustrating just how far we’ve managed to go and what we’ve done through the years to care for our relationship. After two decades of practicing relationship, we are asking ourselves new questions. What can we do to care for our family relationships? And if we build healthy relationships, how far can this take us as couples and as a family? We hope that you’ll find something here that inspires you to go further and helps you in your own practice of togetherness.
Enjoy!