Up in Smoke …or … how to beat an addiction with the buddy system.
Every smoker knows cigarette breaks are more enjoyable with a buddy—someone who can share the burden and relief of this nicotine inspired ritual.
Non-smokers just don’t get it.
On the other hand, becoming a non-smoker is often made more difficult by smoking buddies. As in: “I can’t quit. I have a buddy. If I quit, what would happen to my buddy solidarity?” Quitting often becomes more of a challenge because for smokers, smoking is woven into the fabric of daily life, not to mention the fabric of daily attire.
Smoking is social. So, to sort of flip the logic around a bit, we reasoned that it would be easier to kick the habit with a buddy — someone who can share the burden and relief of quitting. Come on, buddy!
Unfortunately, one small problem stood between us and our goal to conquer Joe Camel together. No, it wasn’t Joe’s sex appeal. It was that one of us didn’t smoke. Whoops. The solution was a bit radical. The non-smoker one of us saddled up and hopped on the Camel Light caravan. The truth is this: you can’t really quit smoking until you start, and you certainly can’t quit on the buddy system until you’re both saddled on the same camel.
So, our tandem smoking adventure began. We’d have a smoke just before bed, just as our eyes were pried open by the morning sun, one to squelch the taste of food after every meal, one every time we had a coffee, anytime life was kind, anytime life was harsh, anytime we went anywhere in the car, or for a walk, rain our shine (we’d walk a mile for a Camel). Soon, we were consuming about a pack a day each.
After several months of indentured servitude to RJ Reynold’s, the burden was getting pretty heavy. We set a date to lighten the load on our environment and our health — not to mention that we’d save about $1400 per year (that translates to over $2100 in 2013). D-day was set for Friday, June 15, 2001.
Our library room resembled an emergency headquarters as we prepared for a nine-day stint. We profiled foods, drinks, and behaviors known to trigger the need for a cigarette, indicating their illicit status by striking through them in scarlet red. Also, during the first week of the project, we wanted to keep our minds and bodies busy with as many distractions as we could afford. Thus, a growing inventory list of substitute foods and entertainment devices papered the library door. Among our strategy tools were art supplies, board and card games, documentary and movie videos, musical instruments and writing supplies. Because coffee and alcohol were on the “scarlet list,” we filled our cupboards with boxes of herbal teas and fruit juices. Finally, in order to avoid replacing the smoke in our lungs with pounds around our middles, we planned the coming week’s meals and purchased the healthiest foods we could afford.
Our large ‘Flowers of California’ wall calendar, relocated from the kitchen to the library, now “mission control,” prominently displayed nine neon green smiling circles — one for each day of the week we had taken off work and one for each of the Saturdays and Sundays that book-ended the week.
On Friday, June 15th, we drew a smiley face with a bright pink tongue sticking out at us in contempt, daring us to make our first move. We were ready for operation “Drop-the-Addiction.” On June 14th, we rented a bag full of videos and loaded our home library with every game we owned. Gathered and organized on a living room shelf were paints and brushes, canvas, paper, candle wax, beads, and anything else that remotely resembled art supplies. And finally, that evening, we bought one carton of cigarettes, the last carton, and split it five packs each.
June 15th:
Pack One. We smoked as much as we wanted and as often as we wanted. The first day, and the first pack was of course the easiest. The final hurrah of puffing our way through life was filled with playing guitar and piano, painting, writing, and imagining all the ways we could spend the extra $1400.00. It felt like we weren’t quitting at all. That day is etched into our memories as one of the best days we have experienced together. The hope, optimism, and excitement we felt is unparalleled. No more suffering out in the cold, rain, or heat to quiet the nicotine scream. No more frustrating new holes in our furniture, clothes, and carpeting. No more wheezing up a flight of stairs. The day went quickly, and the first empty cigarette box was tossed into the trash, along with the hold that it had on our lives.
Pack Two. The second twenty-cigarette pack was divvied into two days of thirteen waking hours. We had decided ahead of time that we would get up at 8:00am and go to bed at 9:00pm for the first few days. This translated into one cigarette every hour and twenty minutes. We loaded our second pack/day with mugs of herbal teas, endless games of crazy eights and a blur of videos. As we had planned, we tucked in early that night and slept until 8:00 the next morning—a nice mental break. Pack two lasted two days. By the second day, we had discovered a way to trick our fiending brains by keeping a straw in our fingers or mouths as a pacifier (pictured in the “up in smoke” image above is the straw we kept for our scrap book). A friend mentioned that herbal licorice root would be even better. We found some at our local health food market. A perfect stand-in, they are about the size and shape of a cigarette, and much tastier.
Pack Three. Starting with pack three, we simply doubled the period of pack two—one cigarette every two hours and forty minutes until the pack was gone. This pack lasted almost three days. We set an alarm to go off every 160 minutes, and quickly discovered Hell. For the moment, that was way way way too long to go without sweet nicotine. So, we decided it wouldn’t compromise our goal if we broke pack three down into half a cigarette every one hour and twenty minutes. We found that just a few drags were enough to get us through an hour and a half. By this point, we were six days into the battle and had already watched a shelf full of videos. After the third viewing of The Planet of the Apes, we gleaned a few more days of mind- numbing drama from our personal video stash.
Pack Four. The plan was to smoke one cigarette every five hours and twenty minutes, but this, as we found with pack three, was too difficult. Instead, we broke this pack down to half a cigarette every two hours and forty minutes. This went well for the first couple of days, and by the third day, we were able to go to one about every five hours. After the ninth day, we both returned to our separate jobs. Although we were still smoking two a day, we planned it so that we could spend those moments together.
There were moments of discomfort, especially when work/smoking buddies stepped out for the morning break. There was a sense of rejection and also recognition that we no longer belonged to that group. It took a few weeks to get used to feeling like an outsider. But, in spite of our new work adjustments, we made it through fifteen days. During the long intervals between puffs, we could taste the sweetness of accomplishment.
Pack Five. On the sixteenth day, we started our final pack—ten hours and forty minutes between smokes (which is sort of impractical, so we just smoked one a day at a designated time). Again, during the work week, we’d join each other at lunch for that one yummy cigarette. This went on for next ten days, but about half way through, we decided we’d had enough, and we lobbed the remainder of pack five into the trash. Within one month’s time we had quit a years-long habit — it was relatively easy and also fun. Victory tasted like … well … like clean air.
Now, we aren’t quitters in the traditional sense. We believe our strength lies in our ability to exercise self-control, not in our resolve to never ever do a thing again. From the inception of our “Drop-the-Addiction” project, we had decided that we weren’t “quitting smoking.” Instead, we were ending our physical and psychological dependence on nicotine. On our calendar, we had smiley-circled two additional dates. September 30th was the first. Also, on December’s page, we drew a smiley-circle in the margins and wrote the date March 30th. September 30th marked the three month mark — a typical milestone for quitters. On that date, however, we bought one more pack. We each pulled two papery sticks from the box and enthusiastically tossed the remainder into the trash. Smoking them was just like smoking our first cigarette all over again. It was weird.
Anyway, on March 30th, we went through the same “take two smokes and toss” process. It felt good to be in control of our lives. And again, six months later, we bought a pack of Sweet Dreams Wild Cherry cigarettes and smoked one a day for three days, tossing the rest.
It was several months again before a friend offered us a cigarette, and we made a joint decision to smoke one each. It was a horrible experience. It tasted bad, smelled bad, and left a horrible taste in our mouth — what was he smoking, anyway!? It’s been a good 8 to 10 years now since we’ve had a cigarette, although we’ve been known to share a cigar every once in a while — just for fun.
Well, we hope we’ve inspired you to use your relationship to break the chains of addiction, if need be. And beyond that, on your way to achieving your life goals and dreams, we hope we’ve inspired you to see your relationship as a built in buddy- system. If planned correctly, what one can do, two can do better.
In Kindness,
~JnK