The first week of our life partnership, as a relationship “icebreaker” of sorts, we each wrote a list of all the things we dreamed of doing. Then we compared our lists. We first looked for any items one of us had dreamed of doing that the other was accomplished enough to teach. For example, one of us wanted to make candles, and the other had made many candles. Voila! Second, we compared the two lists and identified the dreams we had in common. Finally, as combining our lives was the spirit of those early times, we combined the lists into one.
Panorama of Mt. Judah
This type of list is often referred to as a “Bucket List.” For many years we referred to ours as the “dream list.” We were intrigued when the term “bucket list” came into vogue. Why the word “bucket?” After a quick Internet search, we are sad to report: it is a reference to “kicking the bucket.” And while we found there was no agreement on exactly whence “kicking the bucket” hails, everyone seems to agree it is a medieval reference to dying.
The term “bucket list” was made popular with the release of the 2007 Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman film, The Bucket List. According to IMBD, the movie is about “Two terminally ill men [who] escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.”
Although the film made the term popular, it was used in 2004 in the book Unfair & Unbalanced: The Lunatic Magniloquence of Henry E. Panky, by Patrick M. Carlisle. The lines read, “So, anyway, a Great Man, in his querulous twilight years, who doesn’t want to go gently into that blacky black night…wants to cut loose, dance on the razor’s edge, pry the lid off his bucket list!”
So, there you have it — a bucket list is a list of things to do before you die. Or, to look at it in a slightly different way: it’s a list of things to do while you’re alive and well — that is, still kickin’.
While creating a list of things to do before the final “kick” was not exactly the spirit of our dream list, we’ve had to acquiesce to the notion that if we intend to complete our list together, we will obviously need to complete the items on the list before either of us dies.
So, without further ado, here is our first bucket list:
We Attended A Formal Tea Party 2008
Road Trip to the Aquarium of the Americas
Quit Smoking
Learn to crochet
Make paper
Make candles
Paint on canvas
Make a personal chop
Travel across the U.S.
Record an instrumental piece together
Read a book a year
Learn to drive a stick shift
Visit U.S. National Parks
Learn to create websites
Keep a journal together
Study an ancient culture
Hike to the top of a mountain
Create a panorama of a mountain top
Sew a piece of clothing
Learn to whittle
Attend a formal Tea Party
Grow a garden
Go on a road trip
Make a rug
Have a garage sale
Renovate a room
Own a business
Stay up until sunrise
Create our own holiday
Publish a book
Make a costume for some event
Oh, Yeah! We Made Costumes
Creating this list not only helped us learn more about each other, it also gave us common goals to work toward. We used the list making experience to challenge our own personal boundaries about what we would be willing to do for, and with, each other. Eventually, the list became a guide, steering us toward novel, exhilarating and satisfying shared experiences.
We have been exploring life together since 2000. As of the writing of this post, we have accomplished every item on our first list. You can click on the colored text above to see how we accomplished our various bucket list items. Not all the items are clickable. We intend to keep adding the stories over time.
We recommend that couples create a bucket list using whatever media they feel comfortable using, whether it’s a trusty journal, a word processor, or something on the web.
Our dream list has been a valuable source of inspiration and an impetus toward adventure and exploration. Some items, like quitting smoking, making candles, keeping a journal together, and learning to create websites, were well planned and deliberately executed. Yet, some items were accomplished completely through serendipity; we just happened to be in the right place at the right time with the right intention.
Anyway, we hope we have encouraged and inspired you to jump start an adventurous life together. You never know where a bucket list will lead you.
In Kindness,
~JnK